Monday, July 11, 2016

The Traumatizing Tale of Yelling

Every child that enters a classroom wants to impress the teacher in some way. Some students may try to make you laugh, some may work as hard as they can on a daily basis, or some may try to get on your last nerve to see what you will do. Regardless if the act is a positive or negative one, the students perform those actions to impress you. The hardest part of being a teacher and dealing with all of these different personalities is maintaining your patience. I don’t have a ton of teaching experience quite yet, but I know with certainty that classroom management is my weakness.

“Every weakness contains within itself a strength”

Being reflective is one of my strongest attributes as a teacher. I talk to myself and try to find out ways I can be better. Usually these “inner conversations” deal with the behavior that took place in my classroom. If it was a bad day, I have a tendency to be highly critical of myself and I’ll say:

·      “I yelled at him too much.”
·      “She acted out because I constantly called her out.”
·      “I didn’t give myself enough time to get the full story from all involved.”

I knew something needed to change. I get so frustrated that I act out in the heat of the moment, and make matters worse. Yelling is never the answer. I PROMISE youyou’re making things worse, especially when you yell at the student in front of everyone.

First of all, you’re humiliating the student. No matter how frustrated you are, you can’t let you’re emotions take over. Be mindful of your surroundings and take a deep breath before you act on what is taking place in the classroom

Secondly, when a teacher yells, you are letting the student know that they won. They got to you. Now, they know how far they can push your buttons until you start screaming and yelling. In addition, if it is the same student each time that you’re yelling at, they will continue to act out because your portraying that student in a negative light and they will just feel like they can’t do anything else, but get on your nerves. I don’t think any teacher wants to make one of their students feel like a failure.

Here are a few things I’ve learned in my experience that a teacher should keep in mind:
·      When disciplining a student, never insist that you are right.
·      Don’t be sarcastic (when disciplining a student).
·      Be careful with your words never insult or embarrass your students (you would think this was common sense).
·      Be mindful of your facial expressions when dealing with a behavior problem in the classroom.
·      Never make assumptions take a breath and get the full story before you take action.
·      You shouldn’t constantly compare your students with other students in the classroom.
o   You can certainly praise a student for following directions, but you shouldn’t say something like:
“Why can’t you be more like Susan?”

“Yelling silences your message. Speak quietly so your children (students) can hear your words instead of just your voice” L.R. Knost

The question becomes:
How do I discipline a student without yelling?

I find this to be really hard. I’m incredibly fond of (and jealous of) teachers who consistently maintain a calm demeanor even when things get a bit out of control in the classroom. Truthfully, when I get frustrated and begin yelling in my classroom, I know it’s never the students’ fault. It’s because I never set up a classroom routine for this type of situation. In my classroom, there were no consequences in place for students who decided to make a bad choice. That’s why, at times, my first year of teaching got very aggravating. I felt like all did was yell to get the students to either listen or line up quietly.

I knew I needed to fix this and I needed to do it fast.

Upon reflection, I decided to try to do the opposite of what I’ve been doing. I told myself to praise constantly, and be calm whenever things got a bit out of hand. So, this year, I had a few students who had a difficult time managing their impulsivity. So, instead of yelling and pointing them out in class, I would set up an individual plan.



Setting Up A Plan
As I mentioned in the beginning of this post, all students want to impress their teacher whether it be by making a positive choice or a negative one. Below is an example of something I used in my classroom for a particular student.


Weekly Class/Student Goal Reflection
I had a student in my class who struggled to focus and needed a lot of positive reinforcement. He got bored easily and lost his motivation to work within minutes of getting started on almost every activity. Although this student was very aware of these issues, he didn’t want the class to become cognizant of his challenges. Therefore, instead of constantly pointing this student out and making a scene (because that’s what teachers do when they yell and what I did in the past), I wanted the student and I to develop weekly goals to help him become more aware of what he needed to work on. Additionally, this built this student’s accountability of his actions. He knew that even though he may be bored, the work needed to get done. It’s completely up to you if you want to reward the students at the end of each week. It really all depends on the grade. The only problem with rewards is students become very greedy and will always expect something in return for completing an assignment.

Below, I provided an example of a completed goal sheet, and I provided a link to grab a free blank copy of this sheet. I wasn’t the genius who created it, but you’ll be taken to the page of the person who did! J

The moral of my lengthy post today is that yelling will get you nowhere. Actually, it will get you somewhere, but not to a place you want to be. You need to be calm and patient. You need figure out a plan that will work for each student if they are having a hard time making positive choices in your classroom.




Example of a Completed Goal Sheet


Grab a FREE blank copy from the 3rd Grade Thoughts Teachers Pay Teachers page!







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