You Are a Wonder

  

BRILLIANT

POWERFUL

COMPELLING

RIVETING

INSPIRING

SHOCKING

EFFECTIVE

HEARTBREAKING

EXTRAORDINARY

The words above perfectly describe the book Wonder by RJ Palacio. I can go on and on talking about this book and how amazing it is. I have read it in each class I’ve taught so far in my career (two 5^th grade classes, one 3^rd grade class). I have written long posts on this book before, and I regretted it each time because if you haven’t read it, you really need to experience it yourself without someone telling you what it is about.

I was introduced to Wonder when I was working toward my Master’s. I needed to read it for a class, and I finished it in a day and I knew right away this book would be an automatic read aloud (if I am teaching 3^rd grade or higher). I do not think 2^nd graders or below will be mature enough yet to understand the true meaning of this book.

R.J. Palacio dug deep and highlighted the reality of bullying. It wasn’t sugar coated at all. The words used throughout the book were intense and heartbreaking. It grasps the students’ attention right away because I believe the students relate to what is happening in the story.

The book takes the students and us teachers on a journey. In the beginning, students believe it is a story about a boy with a facial deformity and how he manages through school for the first time. However, that’s not what the story is about….well, it is, but it's not the reason I believe R.J. Palacio wrote the book.

I believe this book was written in order to discover who you are. Every student reacts to what happens in the book differently, and the more times that happens, the more the students begin to understand their own identity.

Take Jack Will for example. For those of you unfamiliar with this story, he is one of the main characters in the book. I felt he went through the greatest change throughout the book. In the beginning, he was reluctant to help Auggie out. Shortly thereafter, he began to get to know Auggie a little more and started to genuinely like hanging out with him. Then, he felt like he was losing his friends so he made a bad choice, which greatly affected him and Auggie’s relationship. I’ll stop there, but hopefully you get my point. With all of those changes, by the end of the story, Jack Will discovered his identity.

Think about it – there are probably many Jack Will’s in your class. The children we teach every day go through the same type of problems the characters in Wonder go through. This story is remarkable because it helps students process the reality of bullying but also allows the kids to discover who they are and what they want to be remembered for.

“I AM” POEMS

My first class was HOOKED on this book right from the start. They not only enjoyed the story itself, but they learned a lot about themselves after reflecting on the story’s message. They realized the impact words or actions could have on a person. They understood the proverb: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most importantly, the students discovered what they wanted to be remembered for after reading this book. Beforehand, some students were perfectly content being the popular one and being “in control” of many social situations. However, they learned that eventually this would get old and that they would be considered a bully. It’s incredible how LIFE-CHANGING this book can be. That’s why I created the “I AM” poems. This is an activity that should be done AFTER you read Wonder. Something I might try next year is doing the “I AM” poem before I read Wonder and then doing it again after I read Wonder to observe how much the students not only learned from the story, but learned about themselves as well J

Please click the picture below to be led to my Teachers Pay Teachers page that will provide the directions for an “I AM” poem as well as a model of the final product.

The Traumatizing Tale of Yelling

Every child that enters a classroom wants to impress the teacher in some way. Some students may try to make you laugh, some may work as hard as they can on a daily basis, or some may try to get on your last nerve to see what you will do. Regardless if the act is a positive or negative one, the students perform those actions to impress you. The hardest part of being a teacher and dealing with all of these different personalities is maintaining your patience. I don’t have a ton of teaching experience quite yet, but I know with certainty that classroom management is my weakness.

“Every weakness contains within itself a strength”

Being reflective is one of my strongest attributes as a teacher. I talk to myself and try to find out ways I can be better. Usually these “inner conversations” deal with the behavior that took place in my classroom. If it was a bad day, I have a tendency to be highly critical of myself and I’ll say:

·      “I yelled at him too much.”

·      “She acted out because I constantly called her out.”

·      “I didn’t give myself enough time to get the full story from all involved.”

I knew something needed to change. I get so frustrated that I act out in the heat of the moment, and make matters worse. Yelling is never the answer. I PROMISE you…you’re making things worse, especially when you yell at the student in front of everyone.

First of all, you’re humiliating the student. No matter how frustrated you are, you can’t let you’re emotions take over. Be mindful of your surroundings and take a deep breath before you act on what is taking place in the classroom

Secondly, when a teacher yells, you are letting the student know that they won. They got to you. Now, they know how far they can push your buttons until you start screaming and yelling. In addition, if it is the same student each time that you’re yelling at, they will continue to act out because your portraying that student in a negative light and they will just feel like they can’t do anything else, but get on your nerves. I don’t think any teacher wants to make one of their students feel like a failure.

Here are a few things I’ve learned in my experience that a teacher should keep in mind:

·      When disciplining a student, never insist that you are right.

·      Don’t be sarcastic (when disciplining a student).

·      Be careful with your words – never insult or embarrass your students (you would think this was common sense).

·      Be mindful of your facial expressions when dealing with a behavior problem in the classroom.

·      Never make assumptions – take a breath and get the full story before you take action.

·      You shouldn’t constantly compare your students with other students in the classroom.

o   You can certainly praise a student for following directions, but you shouldn’t say something like:

“Why can’t you be more like Susan?”

“Yelling silences your message. Speak quietly so your children (students) can hear your words instead of just your voice” –L.R. Knost

The question becomes:

How do I discipline a student without yelling?

I find this to be really hard. I’m incredibly fond of (and jealous of) teachers who consistently maintain a calm demeanor even when things get a bit out of control in the classroom. Truthfully, when I get frustrated and begin yelling in my classroom, I know it’s never the students’ fault. It’s because I never set up a classroom routine for this type of situation. In my classroom, there were no consequences in place for students who decided to make a bad choice. That’s why, at times, my first year of teaching got very aggravating. I felt like all did was yell to get the students to either listen or line up quietly.

I knew I needed to fix this and I needed to do it fast.

Upon reflection, I decided to try to do the opposite of what I’ve been doing. I told myself to praise constantly, and be calm whenever things got a bit out of hand. So, this year, I had a few students who had a difficult time managing their impulsivity. So, instead of yelling and pointing them out in class, I would set up an individual plan.

Setting Up A Plan

As I mentioned in the beginning of this post, all students want to impress their teacher whether it be by making a positive choice or a negative one. Below is an example of something I used in my classroom for a particular student.

Weekly Class/Student Goal Reflection

I had a student in my class who struggled to focus and needed a lot of positive reinforcement. He got bored easily and lost his motivation to work within minutes of getting started on almost every activity. Although this student was very aware of these issues, he didn’t want the class to become cognizant of his challenges. Therefore, instead of constantly pointing this student out and making a scene (because that’s what teachers do when they yell and what I did in the past), I wanted the student and I to develop weekly goals to help him become more aware of what he needed to work on. Additionally, this built this student’s accountability of his actions. He knew that even though he may be bored, the work needed to get done. It’s completely up to you if you want to reward the students at the end of each week. It really all depends on the grade. The only problem with rewards is students become very greedy and will always expect something in return for completing an assignment.

Below, I provided an example of a completed goal sheet, and I provided a link to grab a free blank copy of this sheet. I wasn’t the genius who created it, but you’ll be taken to the page of the person who did! J

The moral of my lengthy post today is that yelling will get you nowhere. Actually, it will get you somewhere, but not to a place you want to be. You need to be calm and patient. You need figure out a plan that will work for each student if they are having a hard time making positive choices in your classroom.

Example of a Completed Goal Sheet

Grab a FREE blank copy from the 3rd Grade Thoughts Teachers Pay Teachers page!